WAFFLE HOUSE PORN! Life in the south.

Life in south often takes us places we didn't expect to be.  I like southern life.  I love that my kids have those southern accents, much thicker than either their momma or daddy do.  Trey sometimes reminds me of one of the Dewberry brothers from that cute little move, Because of Winn Dixie.  He has the ability to add syllables to just any ole word and I must admit, it's cute and he wears it well.  His sister, too--can turn on the southern charm and her accent kicks it up a notch when she does.

Then there's southern dining at it's finest.  And today, we decided together that we were going to have one of those southern cuisine experiences in a fine dining establishment.  We went to Waffle House.  Yeah, I know, but we went anyway.  If it means nothing to you to say that I like mine covered, not smothered, sometimes chunked, NEVER diced--then you won't understand.  It's a part of the southern charm to watch your server walk away from the cook and YELL your order to her in code.

The kids were good, the food was good (I had the grilled chicken--WOW--wonderful) and the service was surprisingly good (there were only 3 other people in there the whole time we ate)...The server talked me into splitting a piece of chocolate pie between us, which again, was excellent!  All in all a good time out to eat...

On the way home from supper, my kids were rambling about something while I phased out for a bit--thinking of how much I enjoyed our little trip--it's the little things in life that count.  Being together, sharing, laughing, talking about our day...that's what life is all about.  But suddenly I was interrupted mid-thought by my daughter, almost yelling, "PORN, PORN, PORN, PORN!"

Cautiously I said, "Emma what are you saying and why are you saying it?"

"I said, 'It's Porn!  Because-- it is!"

  

I waited a while before I just HAD to ask again, "What do you mean."

"It's raining very hard Daddy!  Why, it's PORN down out there!"

She was right, it was raining hard--PORN cats and dogs, in fact.

Bless her heart!

Dinner at Waffle House, $24.00.  Gas to get there and home, probably the same.  Talkin' Southern...Priceless...

Blessings

Pastor Tommy

Nobody likes a jerk.

Nobody

Don't let being a jerk be your witness for Christ...

If you are a recipient of God's grace 

That means you didn't deserve it...

So act like you know that...

It's important

Really

It is.

That is all

Blessings,

Pastor Tommy

Justice?

Today I met Wayne.  I'm the first to admit I went out on a limb.  But it's ok...

I was in my office at the church, by myself.  I've been fussed at for leaving the door unlocked, but hate the idea of this open hearts, open minds, open doors church being locked EVER, much less when there is someone here.

As I worked on Clergy Assessment forms, suddenly I realized there was someone standing at the door to my office.  When I looked up, a meek voice from a young man wearing a backpack said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but can I use your phone?"  "Sure," I said, "What's going on?"

"Well, it might sound sorta lame, but I just got out of jail and I'm hoping to call someone to come get me.  I walked all the way here so far, but I'm getting tired."  He had walked about 3-1/2 miles to get this far.

I asked his name and handed him the phone.  While he was dialing, I quietly typed his name into a search engine and his picture came up--a mug shot.  So I knew he was telling me the correct name and then I searched for his record.  What I found was a simple FAILURE TO APPEAR and an arrest date of August 3.

I listened as he talked to his grandmother on the phone, trying to give her information on where he was.  He kept asking me about road names as he talked.  He simply couldn't explain to her where he was.  In frustration, he finally asked her, "Grandma, is no one else there?"  I said, "Where are you trying to get to?"  He told me (it was 21 miles away) and I couldn't help myself.  I said, "Tell her you are on your way.  I'll take you."  I texted my wife and told her who I was with and what I was doing (still wanted to be cautious?)

He was grateful and shocked, kept saying over and over that he couldn't believe it.  As we drove, I asked him to tell me the story--how did he end up here.  I believe his story, lines up with what I saw and what I felt.

He is young--early 20's.  He and his girlfriend were trying hard to make it, she found herself pregnant and he lost his mechanic job of four years.  Within months of the baby boy's birth, his girlfriend decided she didn't want to be a mother (no drugs or alcohol, he said, she just couldn't do it)...so she simply left.  Around the time of his losing his job, he got two tickets, one for speeding and one for parking.  In his youth, he made a stupid mistake. He didn't think he deserved either ticket, so he chose not to pay them.

Wanting to do the right thing with his son, he planned to move to Florida to live with his dad, lined up a job and everything!  He took the baby to see his ex girlfriend's parents before he left.  They had a surprise for him in that they didn't want the baby to leave, so they tried to take the baby.  The police got called and when they ran his license, they discovered his failure to appear warrant and a arrested him.  Social Services placed the baby boy with Wayne's sister.  No one could afford bail, so he stayed.  A judge sentenced him to 45 days in jail.  He served the entire time in Lincoln County Detention.  This morning they released him.

Stunned to really get it that he had, in essence, spent a month and a half in jail for a speeding ticket, being kept away from his infant son, all while trying to do right, I had very little to say.  I know what he did was wrong, but really?  I took him to his grandmother's house and dropped him off with my business card.  "Call if you can think of something I might can help you with."  "Are you kidding?  I could never have asked for anyone to do this much for me.  I've never had a church and have been praying all the way I was walking for God to show me one.  I meant one to attend, but then I saw your church and thought...'maybe God still loves me.'"  I assured him that was the case and asked, "What will you do now?"  He said, "Well, I can't be worried about the past.  I've got a son that I love so much (he showed me a picture of the chubby little guy) and I have to take care of him.  I think I've learned I need to think about him before every little thing I do."




And that was it...I'm still stunned...I think of Jesus saying to visit those in jail and you know, he's not what comes to mind in our day, but he's exactly the one Jesus was talking about in his day.  Justice for those who have been treated unjustly.  It's so easy to forget that justice isn't always just.  How many more like him are there?  I don't know.  But then, does it even matter why or how they ended up in jail--we are called to be present...now what do we do with that?

It's been 11 years...and we HAVE forgotten

There's been this silly Feng Shui (did I spell that right?) post going around Facebook telling the world it's been 823 years since we had an October where the days lined up like the ones from this year's calendar or the December calendar, or whatever...  It's a lie.  (The really sad ones like the one above are just wrong as this year, it's simply not so for October!)  It's bothered me since I first saw this nonsense promising people massive windfalls if they repost the silliness, but this year it's particularly disturbing to me and I think I know why.

This year, once we got beyond Leap Day, all the dates of the year line up with the same days of the week as 11 years ago.  That was 2001--a big year!  I proposed to my wife on July 7, 2001--a Saturday, just like it was a Saturday this year.  I graduated from UNCC on December 15--a Saturday, just like it will be a Saturday this year.  We will celebrate our 11th anniversary on Dec 30, a Sunday just like it was in 2001.

And of course, September 11 will fall on a Tuesday, just like it did in 2001...

Lots of Facebook status updates, profile pictures, cover photos, etc., are being posted in remembrance of that horrible day and the thousands of lives lost in such horrific acts of violence.  I remember and it still leaves me unsettled, sad, melancholy.  The pain...the tears, the sadness all come back.  At times, it's even as though I'm still glued to the television, watching the events unfold over and over and over again.

But, you know, there are other memories from those dreadful days in September 2001.  The evening of September 11, like many of you, I was gathered with my church family for prayer at Bethel UMC in Salisbury.  The little church was packed.  Among those gathered were two families with loved ones unaccounted for in New York (both families were able to get good news in the next few days).  I remember as a pastor trying to find some words that would make sense and bring comfort, but only tears came.

We cried together and prayed together.  And we did something else...we committed anew to be in relationship with each other as we renewed our relationship with God.  We re-committed ourselves to living for God, loving each other, and were proud of our country.  There were no Democrats or Republicans, no Baptists or Methodists.  We were all Americans.  In the Christian church, we were all one body, committed to the faith--and to our respective churches.  Church attendance in our country saw rising numbers that stayed that way for months on end...I was so proud to be an American and proud to be a Christian in the aftermath of such devastation.

Today, those Facebook posts have a common theme..."We will never forget!"  Intended to convey that we will never forget those whose lives were lost that day, we remember, still with some tears, the people in the planes, the people working in the buildings and perhaps most poignantly, the public servants and ordinary heroes who gave their lives to try to save or protect others.  We will never forget.

But we have forgotten too much...

1. Partisan Politics is the ruler of the day and we are a country divided.  Shame on us for forgetting the unity we once felt.

2. We have forgotten our unconditional and over the top support for our local heroes, particularly our police officers and fire fighters, that still today work to keep us safe.

3. And we have forgotten our commitment to our faith.  Churches are no longer filled to the brim...attendance has not only returned to pre-9/11 levels, it has shrunk further.  Vacations, family outings, sports--all have found their way back to a priority level above our commitment to be together in worship, prayer, and praise, to be united in mission to help the least, the last, and the lost.

And so, while I am pleased that we have still committed to remember, at least once a year, those whose lives were lost on that day, I am hesitantly hopeful that we will at least try to put partisanship aside and show some respect to our fellow citizens.  And too--perhaps this year, when the 16th of September comes around, again on a Sunday this year--that we REMEMBER the commitments we made to be in our houses of worship, together, as one body.

9/11--We will never forget!  Let's see if we mean it this year...

Blessings

A Special Note to Our Youth...

I feel blessed to be the pastor of a GREAT youth group at McKendree UMC.  These kids are fun, smart, talented, and they love each other and love the church and love their Lord.  They've even shown me they love ME.

I also recognize that I only really see most of them when they are together as a group AND at the church or a church event.  I have a story for them tonight--a true story--happened just this week.  I am going to believe that I don't need to connect the dots for them on this and they can draw their own conclusions and life lessons from it.  People are watching...all the time.

I took my kids to McDonald's after they finished their homework.  We went to the McDonald's here on Main St in Lincolnton.  It wasn't very crowded, but we certainly weren't alone.

On the other side of the restaurant from where we sat, there were five young men from Lincolnton High School.  I cannot say for certain, but I believe they were on the football team.  Maybe Soccer, but definitely a team sport.

My kids noticed.  Trey likes to play football; Emma was a cheerleader last year.  They watched them off and on.  Soon, I was trying to distract my kids attention away from these young men.

One of them was standing about as far away from his team mates as possible--on the phone.  He hung up and shouted, "Sometimes she can be the biggest b**** I know!"  He then explained he was talking about his mother.  My kids heard that.  Everyone in the store heard it.

The young men settled into their conversation, laced throughout with language that I didn't want my kids listening to--especially from kids they looked up to.  I think by then my kids were distracted enough, they didn't notice.  The family with a small little girl sitting next to the Lincolnton High boys--well, they noticed.  From the looks of the faces in the room, a lot of folks noticed.  No matter how I tried to find some way to let these boys (notice, they don't seem like young men to me anymore) know they needed to settle down, I couldn't without drawing the attention of my kids back to the boys, so unfortunately, I said nothing.  No one else did either.  When these boys from Lincolnton High left, there was a sense of relief in the room as folks went back to enjoying time with their families.

Now, understand, I'm not foolish enough to NOT remember that sometimes a misguided part of growing up is the belief that to show maturity, we might just try using a few colorful metaphors sprinkled in our conversation..a mild form of rebellion, I guess.  So, to be fair, the language, in and of itself, was not the problem for me.

My issue was that they didn't seem to realize that they were not in the locker room!  My issue was with the lack of respect for those around them.  The boys certainly knew they were in a public, family place.  They should have had more respect.  Being ABLE to use more adult language does not mean that you SHOULD.  It certainly does not mean they shouldn't be aware of their surroundings and concerned about how their actions affect the others in the room.

Worst of all, for too many in the room, they now have an image in their minds that is (fairly or not) associated with Lincolnton High School Athletics.  Their language, their actions, their lack of restraint hurt more than just them, it hurt the team--it hurt the whole school.  These boys will be men when they can demonstrate some respect and concern--some awareness of their surroundings.

I guess I wasn't really surprised.  I was disappointed...AND I was disappointed that I wasn't surprised.  Oh well...

Just thought I'd share with you all.  Thanks for all you do.  Remember, people know who you are, whose you are, and they are watching.

Blessings

Pastor Tommy

When the darkness speaks

For my friends dealing with the shadows of this world...

It's when the light is apparently hidden that the darkness speaks the loudest.

Sometimes the answer is simply to uncover the light and let it shine.

Sometimes we have to simply tell ourselves over and over again:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  

I know far too many people right now who seem to be facing so much darkness...and at times the darkness, it appears, has won.  Wave after wave of darkness come crashing down and they crave some light--just a little--to bring some sort of hope.

But our hope is already present and so is the light.  We sometimes just need to remind the darkness that it cannot ultimately succeed or triumph.  The battle has already been won and darkness is on the losing side.  Its days are numbered.

So speak the light out of the shadows and proclaim the light.  It has not...It WILL not be overcome.

Be a light bearer into the world--it's what we do...well, it's what we are called to do.

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.  And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances... 

Facebook Theology?

Disclaimer.  I know some of you posted these things.  I'm not picking on you.  It also may have nothing to do with you. Lots of folks post these things and thankfully, they all make me think...

I saw a post today (and yesterday, and last week, etc, etc.) that said, "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"

Great intentions.  Let's find a way to encourage folks to give thanks and to do so regularly!  Let's remind folks to be good stewards, for all good things come from God.  It is our Christian duty and responsibility to care for the things God has given us--to remember that even our very life is a gift from the Creator.

But still...

I type this as I look at my son, playing with our cat, Sam.  My daughter is in the other room, playing with the new kitten.  Each of them is dependent on me and my wife for their very survival.  We give them (all four of them): food, shelter, clothing, toys, entertainment, etc.  All good things come from us.  But they are not (any of them) at a maturity level yet to understand their full dependence.  OK, we'll ignore the cats for now as some may argue they aren't made in the image of God (others might disagree).  Imagine what you would think of me if I were to adopt this new policy with just my children.

Anything my kids don't thank us for today, we'll take away tomorrow.  My son didn't say thanks for his shoes (he's had them for a while, but still, he should remember to be thankful EVERY DAY.  Tomorrow, he goes to school barefoot.  My daughter forgets to thank us for rice--a staple in her diet.  Tomorrow, she goes hungry (yes, without rice, she just might).

I don't need to take the example any further as I'm guessing you know already what you would think of me.  Many of my dearest friends or family members would be calling the authorities to have the kids taken away and the kids would not have the absolute assurance that we will always be here for them.  They might not could put it into words, but they'd feel it... Mom and Dad are petty and small minded, uncaring and inhumane.

And so, while I appreciate the good intentions, I think God is a better parent than we will ever be.  I think God's children will not have the feeling of absolute assurance that God will always be there for us if we feel threatened that God might simply come and take away those things we were derelict in giving thanks for yesterday.  I think the idea, when you think about it, gives those on the margins the idea that God is petty, small minded, uncaring, and inhumane.

So, to answer the question..."What if I woke up this morning and the only things I have are the things I remembered to give thanks for yesterday?...Well, I think my God would have just gotten a lot smaller....

So what about you?  What are some others you've noticed.  Leave me a comment below with those questionable Facebook Theological posts you've seen.

Whatever you think of God or God's actions...God is bigger than that, too.

Blessings
Tommy